Funny SMS

Wife came home with a goat.

Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”


Rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum

rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum
kio mujhey neend mein bi daratay ho tum

posted in Funny SMS, Poetry SMS
Tujh bin zindagi ka tasawar hi nahi hai

Tujh bin zindagi ka tasawar hi nahi hai ,
Tere sang ho zindagi aisa bhi koi scene nahi hai,

Iss dunya mein, tum he sab say haseen ho
mein aur kahon jhot kitna, ke tum ko yaqeen ho


Is liye farz tha aap ko batana

Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,
Apna samjho ya baigana,

Hamara aapka rishta he purana,
Is liye farz tha aap ko batana,

kay garmiyan aa gayi hain,
Ab shuru ker do roz nahana!

jao nahao (,?. *,?.)


God has given many qualities to you

God has given many qualities to you,
Good look, personality, charm, intelligence,
And many more……this is call as
“Allah meherbaan to gadha bhi pehalwan…”


Neend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam

Neend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam ,
Shayad macharon ko bi mil gaya hai sanam


Dil main he mere Dard-e-bhutto

Dil main he mere Dard-e-bhutto

“Dard-e-bhutto”
“Dard-e-bhutto”
Wo hasina wo nilam pari,,
hui thi wo election main khari,,
na jane kahan se goli chal pari,,
hamare lia ho gayi mushkil khari,,
Dil main hay mere
“”Dard-e-Bhutto”"
“”Dard-e-Bhutto”"

ha koi muqabla karne wala


U r a nice person…

U r a nice person…
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning…
1st. pray to God so that u can live….
2nd.take a bath so that others can live….

Why did u shoot ur wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shootingher lover?

Sardar:Your honour,
it’s easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.

A bull and a cow is grazing in the field

Teacher : Correct the sentence,
“A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”

Student : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field”
Teacher : How?

Student : Ladies first.

posted in Funny SMS
yesPillow is like a true love

True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.


Before and after marriage

Before Marriage:-

He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!

After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top


How woman calls their husband in first 6 years

How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 4.O bunty k pappa
Yr 5.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6.Tum aate ho k main aaon?


When u feel sad….

When u feel sad….
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
“damn I am really so cute”
u will overcome your sadness.
But don’t make this a habit…..
Coz liars go to hell !!!!


Man : How old is your father?Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born


Man needs a poison

Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that

Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.

Funny SMS

Lecture on Sun

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!


Difference between Husband & gadha

Difference between Husband & gadha.

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!

posted in Funny SMS, Wife SMS
Taste this SMS

Taste this SMS
Did u feel da taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well…..
BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!


A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST.

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!


Recently fired stock trader

A recently fired
stock trader said …

“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…”


A person who keeps on talking…

Teacher : What do you call a person
who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?

Pupil : A teacher.


What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?

What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.


Cant lie till Z

A : u r Active
B : u r Best
C : u r Cute
D : u r my Dearest
E : u r Excelant
F : u r alwayz First
G : u r Great
Sorry cant lie till Z…

Difference between boyfriend and husband

Boy friend is fun,
&
Husband is gun,

Boy friend is light of moon,
&
Husband is month of june,

Boy friend is tooty fruity,
&
Husband is qismat phooti.

posted in Funny SMS, Marriage SMS
Wife:What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

posted in Funny SMS, Wife SMS
How do u spell crocodile

TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell “crocodile”?
JOHNY: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHNY: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!


Two devils came in 2 my dreams.

Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said,
“We want 2 disturb some good person.”
I suggest them your name.
They said,
“We cannot disturb our boss.”


Before & after marriage

Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,


Kal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par

kal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par,
dil mien junoon tha…aankhoon mien khoon tha,

uthaya ussay masal dene k liye par khayal aya,
kambakht mien bhi akhir apna hi khoon tha


The most cruel & wicked guy on earth

Devils went to Court to Prove
that he is The Most,
Cruel & wicked Guy on Earth.

But he Failed, He Came Out Angrily & Asked,
Yaar ye “ALTAF BHAI” kon hai?


Only true friends stand by u

Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.

Funny SMS

How to get your brain exercised

2 friends,

“see” & “saw”:

1 day “see” saw sea & “saw” didnt see sea.
“See” saw sea and jumped in sea.
“Saw” didnt see sea but jumped in sea.
“See” saw “saw” in sea & “saw” saw “see” in sea.
“See” “saw” both saw sea & both “saw” & “see” were happy to see Sea.

That is how to exercise your brain..!


Read this scary story if you dare

READ THIS SCARY STORY IF YOU DARE.
On a rainy day,
an old man was standing with a book for sale.
A young man came to buy.
He bought the book for Rs.3000.
Old man advised
“DONT OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK othrwise YOU’ll face problem”
Man finished the book with great fear but didnt open the last page.
.
.
.
But,after a week,
Out of curiousity he opend the last page and..

he almost fainted to see..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Retail Price: Rs 30/-


Practical exam, and legs test

In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird’s name
Sardar:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS
I almost cried

Life has so much 2 teach us,1 famous Chinese poet said
“Sifgliyo chi chongloma cyona sung una sevol ping pinago ching”

Really touching na?
I almost cried;->

posted in Funny SMS
A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS
Dil k zakham kisi ko dikha na sako ge

Dil k zakham kisi ko dikha na sako ge,
Dil mein jo he kisi ko bata na sako ge,

Karoo ge jawani me jo girlfriend pe kharche,
Budhape tak udhar chuka na sako gay:p

posted in Funny SMS, Poetry SMS
1 machar 1 chinese aur aik memon

Train main 1 machar 1 chinese k sar pe baitha,
woh usko pakar k kha gaya!

Phir 1 machar memon pe baitha,
us ne pakar k chinese say pocha:
.
.
.
.
.
Khareedo gay?:D:D:D

posted in Funny SMS
1 ladki k saath ghoomay to

Sometimes wen i cry no 1 c my tears,
wen i m woried no 1 c my pain,
wen i m happy no 1 c my smile
lekin…
sala. 1 ladki k saath ghoomay
to sab dekh lete hai..


Importance of thumb…

Importance of thumb…

Children use it 4 chewing

Illiterate people use it 4 sign

Winners 4 victory
.
.
AND
.
.
My FANS use it 4 reading my messages
.
.
.
.
.
Oh….u toooo?

posted in Funny SMS
Imagine world without girls

Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viran
na janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz & quran
&
sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam

posted in Funny SMS, Misc SMS Jokes
Girl: if u will try 2 kiss me, main shore macha dungi

Girl: if u will try 2 kiss me, main shore macha dungi.
Boy:Lekin yahan to dur tak koi nahi hai.
Girl: i know but formality to poori karni hi padegi..

posted in Funny SMS
Do u want to hear a dirty joke

Do u want to hear a dirty joke?
.
.
.
Are you sure?
.
.
.
Ok, here you go…
.
.
.
A white horse fell in the mud

posted in Funny SMS
What is a adult joke?

Sardarji was asked,
what is a adult joke?

Reply came
any joke which is eighteen years old.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS
Dream of receiving jewelry & cloths

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!

posted in Funny SMS, Wife SMS
Us ki shadi ki biryani kha baithay

Hoslay saray azma baithay,
Hum zamanay k ghum utha baithay,

Jis ki chahat main umer bhar tarpay,
Us ki shadi ki biryani kha baithay:)

posted in Funny SMS, Poetry SMS
I just feel u….

I just feel u….

Whenever I feel u….
I just miss u …..
Whenever i miss u ….
I just wanna See u ….
Do u know why…….

It’s juts because …………

******I LOVE CARTOONS************

Funny SMS

World’s smallest resignation letter!

World’s smallest resignation letter?

Respected sir,

I love Ur wife.

Thank you

Kissing while driving

Any man who can drive safely
while kissing a pretty girl
is simply not giving the kiss
the attention it deserves.


Why women starts with W

You know why women starts with ‘W’…
because all questions start with “W”.. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!

Heart is mobile and u r sim

GIRL:My heart is like a mobile
and you are the sim card

BOY:I m very happy. . .
Gal:dont b too happy. . .
If I get a new offer
I will change the sim card..!


Tomorrow exam’s cheat today!

Examiner:y r u under tension?
Did u forget admit card,ID,or calculator?

studnt:No Sir!
By mistake i have brought tomorrow
exam’s pharray (Cheating material) today:-)


Best day to propose a girl

Hey U Know
Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1
U Know Why??
If she accept its your luck
otherwise just tell April Foooooll.


YOU ARE REALLY BITCHU are a BITCH

Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Hilarious

r u smiling now?
?
?
?
*YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*


Silent message for all students

A ThermoMeter is n0t the 0nly thing
that gets a “DEGREE” without having a “BRAIN”…! :p

A silent msg f0r all studnts;-)

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.


Ghalib’s girl friend late on date

Ghalib ne girlfriend ko date per bulaya wo late aayi,
Girl: Am I late ?

Ghalib:
Falak pey chand sitaron ko neend aarahi hai,
Doosri ka time ho gaya hai, tu ab aa rahi hai.
:-)


Interesting line on girl’s T-shirt

Most interesting line written
on the front of T-shirt of a girl,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Excuse me !
My face is above.;-)

posted in Adult SMS, Funny SMS
How is the situation

Husband wanted to call the hospital
to ask about his pregnant wife,
but accidently called the cricket stadium.

He asks, “How’s the situation?”

He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.

They said, “It’s fine. 3 are out,
hope to get another 7 out by lunch,
last one was a duck!”..:-P

posted in Funny SMS
Smile meanings

Smile to old means Respect

Smile to child mean Innocence

Smile to friend means Care

Smile in front of mobile, a mental case!

Still smiling? ;-)
Pagal ey oy

posted in Funny SMS, Smile SMS
Difference between Friend & Wife

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“U r my Best Wife?”

posted in Funny SMS, Wife SMS
Miss use of english

Misuse of English!

A Diagram in A Book Was Not Clear
So da Teacher Drew The Diagram On Da Blackboard
&
said:
“Dont Look At The Book Figure,Look At My Figure”:D

posted in Funny SMS
Fact about women

Fact about women:
They can see a hair of a girl
on their husband’s coat from 20 meters,
but can’t see a pillar from 2 meters
while parking a car . . . :-D

Funny SMS

A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl

Teacher:
What should be in a
book to make it a bestseller?

Tommy:
A girl on the cover
and
no cover on the girl.


Who is guilty (Husband / Wife) ?

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
and suddenly shouts: “Up! Quick! My husband is back!”

Man gets up, jumps out of the window,
hurts himself, and then realizes: “Damn, I am the husband!”


Style of break up

Style of break up:
Boy bought gift for His Girl friend-
GF:Wat the hell would I do with this rocket?
Boy: U wanted stars na?
Now sit on it and GET LOST:p


I love your smile

Ultimate insult..

I Iove your smile becoz..
.
.
.
.
.
.
My favorite colour is “YELLOW”!! :D’

posted in Funny SMS, Insult SMS, Smile SMS
Do u like me as I am?

Do you Like me as I am??
Or do I haVe to
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Request GOD to impRove your taste ?? :D


Stop looking at girls

Aftr engagemnt!
Girl:
Now stop looking at girls,u r commited now!

Boy:
Oho what do u mean,
if i m on diet,
that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . . :-D


Rich man vs Poor man

Rich Man: Today, I have 14 Cars,
18 Bikes, 4 Bungalows, 3 Farm Houses

What do you have?

Poor Man: I have a boy

who’s Girl Friend is
.
.
.
.
Your Daughter..!

The best quote of advertisment

The best quote of advertisment
written in front of a famous beauty parlour :

“Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here,
She might b ur grand mother…”

posted in Funny SMS
I Salute Ur Father

Pay My Regards To Ur Father
Who Is Tolerating Such A Dumb Duffer Child,
What A Stamina He Has Got..
I Salute Ur Father:p

Happy Father’s day

posted in Father's Day SMS, Funny SMS
ECG if you go out ..

ECG if u go out with wife
/l__,-.__/\_,_,-.

ECG if u go out with girlfriend
_/l_/l_/l_/l_/\_/\_

ECG if wife catches u with girlfriend…
/\________

posted in Funny SMS
9 Interesting confusions

“Interesting Confusions”

1. Can u cry under water?

2. Do fish ever get thirsty?

3. Why don’t birds fall out of trees when they sleep?

4. What do u call a male lady bird?

5. Why is it called building when it’s already built?

6. When they say dog food is new & improved in taste, who tastes it?

7. If money doesn’t grow on trees then why banks have branches?

8. Why does a round pizza come in sqaure box?

9.Why doesn’t glue, stick to its bottle;-)..!!

posted in Funny SMS
Spelling mistake in lovers name

Height Of Illiteracy:

You Take A Blade
And
Write Your Lover’s Name On Your Arm.
.
.
.
.
And
Make A Spelling Mistake.

posted in Funny SMS
Difference between scientific theory and reality

The difference between scientific theory and reality
is like the difference between
reading the menu and eating dinner.

posted in Funny SMS
Cute proposal for love at first sight

Cutest Proposal –

A Boy Rings D Door-Bell Of A Girls Home.
&
Asks ,
“Do U Belive In Love At First Sight
Or
Should I Come Back Again..”

posted in Funny SMS
Bachelor or Married again

Sardar’s Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Don’t Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate “Bachelor Again”.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is “Married Again”